Step Parents and New Babies

It is sometimes hard to watch. When a single parent remarries to someone who has never had children, and then their only child becomes the brunt of authoritarian parenting. How sad. Recently, one little boy whose mom just had a baby said “he is so mean to me and she always takes his side.” The child is not 15. He is 7. The step dad is constantly ordering the child around, without explanation. The child is accusing of doing things he is not doing “running around in a store” when he is merely playing close by with another child while the parents are chatting with friends. I have seen this step father spank this child without a lot of provocation. You bet, if it rose to the level of child abuse, I would report it. At the least, it is emotional abuse, but that is too difficult to prove. Step parents, please please take a parenting class. Let the single parent teach you. Don’t jump in and try to order the child around before you understand how a child thinks, acts, behaves. Learn how to parent before you destroy the self esteem of a normal little child. Learn to tell them why you want them to do what you want them to do. It works so much better, both for them and for you. I am concerned now that there is a new baby. Will step dad finally leave the little guy alone, or will he become even harder on the kiddo now that he has a child whose blood is the same as his? Are we looking at the child who is going to turn into a tyrant himself someday?

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